How To Stop Caring What Others Think Of You

by January Harshe on November 14, 2014

BWFConfAus2014-079Caring what others think of me has actually been a huge struggle through my life. When you’re an empathetic person with an open heart it comes with the territory. It doesn’t matter that I’ve always been opinionated or “strong.” I am still a human being and care so much about others that many times I open myself up to being hurt. My strength comes from not letting that stop me. I refuse to let hate or betrayal (from others) keep me from making a difference in this world or keep me from loving myself and others.

It takes experience to learn the art of setting boundaries and with age comes wisdom. No matter what good you do, people are on their own journey. People make assumptions. People judge. People are hurting, so people hurt others.

I’m going to tell you, though, how I finally stopped caring what others think of me.

I stopped caring what people think about me when I realized that most people don’t even think good about themselves.

I stopped caring what people think about me when I realized the only opinion that matters about myself is my own.

I stopped caring what people think about me when I learned to love myself.

BWFConfAus2014-044

The more we are at peace with who we are, the more we can simply love. It’s why I try to help others learn this as well. It’s how change will happen.

Many people say, “I wish I had your confidence.”

Honey, that’s a choice.

I’m telling you right now you have to make that choice for yourself. When you get up in the morning stop the negative talk that is on auto play in your big, beautiful brain. Tell yourself you are only guaranteed this day so you don’t have the time to waste hating yourself. Tell yourself you are beautiful and smart and a wonderful wife /mom /friend /sister /poet /gardner /lover /barista /etc. You may have to remind yourself of this all day long. Then one day you will only have to tell yourself in the morning and maybe once more in the day.

Then one day you will wake up and just KNOW IT.

It’s your choice to let the hateful auto play continue today or to stop it in its tracks and replace it with the grace, love, and compassion you deserve.

Does this mean we don’t need to grow and change? No. Life is hard and sometimes we are faced with needing to make amends, say sorry, work on an issue in our lives. Guess what?! You don’t have to hate yourself through it. You can love yourself through it. Doesn’t that sound better? Love yourself through life as you’d love a child through their lessons in life. Be a good friend to yourself. Surround yourself with wonderful people who love you for you (and who you love in return for who they are). Life is too short for anything less.

leilani and january harshe

Photography by Leilani Rogers, Photographer.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Naomi Chance November 14, 2014 at 10:02 am

Great reminder – Love your heart January!

Reply

Christine J November 14, 2014 at 1:31 pm

Love this so much. I was just thinking about this very thing with all the campaigns right now to stop body shaming women. Loving ourselves and others is just so fundamental.

Reply

Kim January 21, 2015 at 4:18 pm

“People make assumptions. People judge. People are hurting, so people hurt others.”

I know this is sort of common sense, but reading that changed my day. I know it, in my core, but it’s different to be confronted by it. To see it in type and allow it to be tangible. I really appreciate this post. I am trying to sort this out in my own life. To love myself and accept others, but not to allow their judgment colour my self-perception.

You make me smile every day. Whether it’s on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. I am so happy I stumbled across you. You matter so very much and I really appreciate you. 🙂 Thank you, Lovely.

Reply

Andrea July 9, 2015 at 8:15 am

Thank you for sharing this! I needed this today and will probably revisit your site to re-read this again. You are extremely inspiring and I am so thankful that I came across your Instagram about a year ago and started following you. Thank you for what you do!

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: